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Here's what you can learn from my grief

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Add to Flipboard Magazine. Fuente: babycenter - View all news from this site
Here's what you can learn from my grief Here's what you can learn from my grief

Here's what you can learn from my grief






by Melissa Willets posted in Pregnancy

It?s been years since I sat down on the sofa with my coffee, and watched the news. Because I?m a mom, and who has time for that" I?m making breakfast for the kids, and drinking coffee. Getting ready while drinking my coffee. Or, walking the dog, unloading the dishwasher, answering emails, and packing school lunches. Even though what I really want to do is sit down on that sofa, take a beat, take a breath, and enjoy my morning coffee.
But since I lost a pregnancy late in the second trimester, I?m taking my time with my morning coffee. I sit down, feel my body sink into the cushions, take that breath, and relax my weight fully into the pillows behind me. I hold my coffee cup, feel its warmth in my hands, and smell the beans I brewed. I take small, deliberate sips instead of inhaling the caffeine as fast as I can like I did before.

Like many people who have been crushed by grief, life in general has slowed down for me. I just don?t see what the big rush is anymore. Not only have I been taking the time to enjoy my morning coffee the way I always wanted to, I am noticing more about small moments. How a hug from my child feels. How the sun on my face feels. How a hot shower feels. How deeply I can breathe in, and fill my lungs with air.
I?m also being kinder to myself, something I never really bothered to take the time to do. Before. If my heart feels heavy, I ask my daughter to snuggle with me. I take a moment to rub my feet if they?re tired. I sleep a few minutes later. I go to bed earlier. I?ve thrown guilt over what I eat out the window. Snacking on a few pita chips isn?t going to make me hate myself now.
Because there?s no skipping over this part. No rushing through grief to happiness. You have to take it in, feel it, taste it, smell it, let it wash over you. And do the work. Experience the pain. But in a way that is gentle and loving. That means not only leaning into the agony, the sadness, the hopelessness, but also, allowing it to change you. Making space for all of it.

For me, the grief is bitter, and sweet in that way. Because here I am, on the sofa with my coffee. Savoring life a little more. Even if this life isn?t what I envisioned. Hey, at least there?s more coffee.
So, as I sip the last of this cup, I urge you: Don't wait for loss to rock your world to learn all of this like I did. Slow down. Sit and drink coffee. Be in the moment more. Stop rushing through each day. Listen to what people are saying, instead of allowing your mind to drift off to the next thing. Taste your food. Stop multitasking. Pet your dog. Have another cookie. Stay in the shower for another minute.
And above all, be nice to yourself. Stop judging yourself for every little thing! Life is too damn short.

Can you challenge yourself to slow down today"

Leave a comment

...


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Fuente de la noticia: babycenter
Fecha de publicación: 03-09-2017 21:49
visto: 2

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